Dear Self-doubters.

The delicious purpose of self-doubt

What fascinates me about self-doubt is how it plagues some of the most talented and brilliant executives. 

One would think that doubt comes after doing something terribly wrong.

It doesn't work that way. 

Au contraire. 

We feed our self-doubt by taking one negative comment and wallowing in it like pigs in mud - maybe that's just how I do it :)

I will chew my husband's ears off about that upset client hoping for a transformation without lifting her little finger. 

And when he asks me about the other clients' POV, I'll brush over the 100 praises and thanks for new jobs and powerful mindsets because, well... that's what I do; it's my "normal." 

Self-doubt is a defense technique that stops us from taking action because of fear of judgment, of doing it wrong, 

or worse: that there is a "right way" to do it that "we still have not yet figured out." 

And so, to avoid that "potential" external threat, our inner critic anticipates the attack and the pain.

I call my hyper self-doubter clients: my Achilles. 

They have invincible minds, like Achille, except when they doubt, which feels like a mortal wound.

Your power is linked to your capacity to be comfortable with the uncomfortable emotions that come with: 

- doing it wrong (which might be slightly imperfect for others' standards)

- Beta testing (a fancy way to say: messing things up)

- upsetting someone (they are mature adults)

- hearing "no" (which can be as equally challenging as saying "no"). 

These opportunities are where your capacity for success resides.

Please don't believe me; observe it and try it. 

Call in your inner Rihanna and feel the strength of her boundaries. 

She is as plagued with self-doubt as most talented people. 

Think of it, the higher the stakes, the more people you have the potential to upset. 

Developing that skill is a proven path to success.

I hear you, I too, wish the proven path was Netflix and chill!

Anyway, we start with baby steps always. 

Because it is about training your nervous system, and you don't want to pull a confidence muscle. 

For example, try 

Saying no often and for no reason other than because you can, remember Terrible 2s!!

Saying one "Hell Yes" to that one small task, you know, would improve your chances greatly.

Getting out of the comfort-not-so-comfortable zone of "maybes" and free the debate team in your head

Join a group like the one I host every Monday, where we do all of the above to allow our nervous system to stop freaking out about any tiny little mistake or believing there is one "correct" way to find your next job. 

Of course, only if you feel The Call. 

Like your soul asking you to play that bigger game, she knows you are ready for and we are waiting for. 

We are our own glass ceilings 

and we also have the hammer. 

Breaking my own rules, sending my newsletter on a Monday :)

Agathe 

PS- The current group will close on July 31st. 11 weeks from now to make the following things happen together:

- Write their clarity card

- 21-days of reconnecting 

- get two job interviews 

DM me if you want in, and we will schedule a call to evaluate your stamina.